I've finally come to terms with the fact that I did not have the labor and delivery experience I was expecting to have. One of my friends, Colene, told me she was told it's better to go in with no expectations, but how do you do that???
My labor plan included a natural delivery. I wanted no epidural, no Pitocin, a quiet room with only a few close friends and family members present. My mom and husband (Steve) were the only ones I invited to be in the room during delivery. My mom was going to cut the cord, which was Steve's idea. They both knew my wishes and were there to support me.
On February 4th I had a doctor visit and was told I was dilated to a 2 and was 80% effaced. A few hours later I had the "bloody show". I knew that didn't mean that I would be going into labor right away, but I had a gut feeling it was coming very soon. I was hoping I wouldn't go into labor on the 4th though because it was actually my nephew's first birthday and I didn't want to steal his thunder. I made it through his birthday party having minor contractions and bad back pains, but that wasn't too unusual for me.
Finally at 11:30pm I suspected that my water broke. I wasn't positive, but I told Steve about it and decided to go to bed. At 1:00am I woke up in more pain and noticed more "water". I knew at that point my water had in fact broken. I wasn't sure whether to go to the hospital right away or wait it out at home. I called the hospital and the RN encouraged me to go in since it was my first baby and my water had broken.
Excitedly, I woke Steve up and told him "it's time." The poor guy had only been sleeping for 30 minutes, he believed me when I told him I thought I was in labor, so he stayed up to finish a project for work. We immediately got everything together and made it to the hospital by 2:00am and confirmed that yes my water had broken. I got all check in and made it to my room so thrilled I could barely breathe. Steve on the other hand...fell asleep!!! I forgave him though because I needed him to be on point when I was delivering her.
In an attempt to be an understanding wife, I let Steve sleep until the pain got so bad I couldn't lie in bed anymore. I woke him up and he helped me walk around the unit. By this time it had been about 6 hours since my water broke. As we're walking around I'm noticing we have to stop every couple of minutes for a contraction. I'm excited thinking maybe I'd have a quick labor. I decide I should get the birthing ball and sit on that to work through my contractions. But by this time the contractions are coming every minute to two minutes!
Let me tell you the most difficult part about that for me was that there was no time to rest in between contractions. I was having cluster contractions too meaning that I would have one contraction for about 30 seconds then it would come right back full force for about a minute or so. I went through this for several hours. I finally got checked by the RN and found out I had only dilated 1/2 a cm!!!!
All that work and only 1/2 a cm?!? I could have screamed. The RN told us that I still had a long time to go. So, I gave in. I got the epidural. I felt so guilty for doing it because I wanted so badly not to, but I just couldn't see myself going another 7 or 8 hours like that. You know the classes tell you that the phase where the contractions are coming so close together only lasts 30-45 minutes and it's right before you're ready to push! I had already been going through that for hours and was nowhere near ready to push!!!
After the epidural I was able to nap. My parents came by for a little while, but decided to go home after finding out I was only dilated to a 3 by that time. We decided I would just call them when it got close.
My doctor decided to put me on Pitocin since I had the epidural and wasn't dilating fast enough. They started me off slowly but kept increasing the Pitocin. After a few hours my epidural started to wear off on the left side of my body. I informed the RN, tried the bolus a few times but it was in vain. The anesthesiologist came and gave me more meds to help, but that didn't work either.
By this time they had significantly increased my Pitocin so that the contractions were coming every 30 seconds! Still my epidural wouldn't work on the left side. I was in so much pain, but quit complaining about it because it didn't seem to help (my RN was mad at me by this point anyway...long story). At one point when I told my RN that I could feel everything on the left side, her response was "I hardly think you're feeling everything!"
The nurse checked me again and discovered they had dilated me from a 6 to a 9 1/2 in 30 minutes!! That was when they finally backed off the Pitocin. For those of you who don't know, Pitocin makes the contractions even more painful. To be having contractions every 30 seconds with Pitocin is terribly painful. We quickly called my family and friends and told them to rush because I was close.
My mom made it just in time. I was in so much pain I was moaning during exhales (which did help). I was still having back labor, so the nurse thought the baby was upside down (a.k.a. sunny side up). She said the doctor would take care of that when he got there in the meantime, start pushing. So I did. I pushed and pushed and pushed as hard as I could. She didn't seem to think I was doing my best, and kept telling me to push harder, my baby wasn't moving.
I was literally falling asleep between pushes. Steve would wake me up by telling me, "DEEP BREATH!" At one point they lost Madelynn's heartbeat. I don't remember much about that. I only remember them telling me to stop while the RN adjusted the monitors and searched for her heartbeat. Then I remember her telling me to take a break from pushing to let Madelynn’s heartbeat "recover." (Good thing I was so out of it, otherwise I would have freaked out)! In the meantime, I'm in TERRIBLE pain, but still only on the left side. There was a strange pain that didn't feel like a contraction. I kept thinking something was wrong, but what did I know? Several times I almost asked her to get the doctor, but I figured I've never had a baby before so this was probably normal.
Again, I started pushing and still nothing was happening. I finally said I needed a break and wanted rest during this contraction. At that point, my RN snapped, "I'll be right back." Finally she got the doctor. He came in telling me resting was not going to get my baby out. Either I needed to push or he was going to have to go in after her (I’m thinking what did that RN tell you???). He said Madelynn was not upside down, but he used some other term that began with a "t". He was having me push as hard as possible (as if I wasn't already) and was reaching inside me in an attempt to turn Madelynn's head. I SCREAMED! This was easily the most painful experience of my life and he kept doing it. (I found out later that my friends and family could hear my screams in the waiting room).
After an hour of all this, the doctor said my baby still hadn't moved at all. He said he thought her head was too big and would need to be taken by Cesarean section. By this time, I was all for it. I was in terrible pain and was crying. I just couldn't take it anymore. The new surgical RNs came in and were so kind (they actually thought I was crying because I was scared of the surgery).
They gave Steve scrubs to put on and sent my mom back into the waiting room. The anesthesiologist came in and then I did get scared! I quickly realized that I could feel everything on the left!!! How were they going to cut me open and pull her out when I could feel it? He assured me that he would make me pain free before he allowed the doctor to cut me. He was great! I was trembling so badly from the hormones. He told me as soon as the baby was out of my body he would give me something to stop the tremors. He assured me it was completely normal!
They brought Steve into the room, let him sit with me and the doctor got ready to begin. Luckily the anesthesiologist noticed and stopped him quickly! He told the doctor to wait while he adjusted my meds. During this time the doctor began poking me with something to judge how much I could feel. I kept telling him "I feel that. I feel that." He thought I was just feeling the pressure from the poke, so he secretly poked me in a different area. When I again said, "I feel that!" The RNs all started laughing. He said he just needed to make sure. Meanwhile, I'm thinking why does everyone think I'm lying about my pain?!? The only one who seemed to believe me was the anesthesiologist.
After several med adjustments, nothing was working. My anesthesiologist told me we had two choices a complete spinal block or a general anesthesia. I chose the spinal block! They made Steve leave the room again while he administered the spinal block. Finally I was pain free! They brought Steve back in and began.
My doctor quickly cut me open, pulled her out, and got me stitched back up. One thing all of the RNs told me about my doc was that he was fast...and he was. After he finished, he came over to me and told me that Madelynn's head was stuck in my birth canal. Apparently, her head was turned and couldn't make it through the canal. She was born with a raspberry on her head, which healed quickly. He told me, "We did the right thing. There was no way you would have been able to push her out."
I wanted to yell, "See, I wasn't being a big baby! I was pushing as hard as I could! I KNEW something was wrong!" But, I just quietly said, "Thank you", tried to stop crying, and waited for them to bring me my daughter.
My labor plan included a natural delivery. I wanted no epidural, no Pitocin, a quiet room with only a few close friends and family members present. My mom and husband (Steve) were the only ones I invited to be in the room during delivery. My mom was going to cut the cord, which was Steve's idea. They both knew my wishes and were there to support me.
On February 4th I had a doctor visit and was told I was dilated to a 2 and was 80% effaced. A few hours later I had the "bloody show". I knew that didn't mean that I would be going into labor right away, but I had a gut feeling it was coming very soon. I was hoping I wouldn't go into labor on the 4th though because it was actually my nephew's first birthday and I didn't want to steal his thunder. I made it through his birthday party having minor contractions and bad back pains, but that wasn't too unusual for me.
Finally at 11:30pm I suspected that my water broke. I wasn't positive, but I told Steve about it and decided to go to bed. At 1:00am I woke up in more pain and noticed more "water". I knew at that point my water had in fact broken. I wasn't sure whether to go to the hospital right away or wait it out at home. I called the hospital and the RN encouraged me to go in since it was my first baby and my water had broken.
Excitedly, I woke Steve up and told him "it's time." The poor guy had only been sleeping for 30 minutes, he believed me when I told him I thought I was in labor, so he stayed up to finish a project for work. We immediately got everything together and made it to the hospital by 2:00am and confirmed that yes my water had broken. I got all check in and made it to my room so thrilled I could barely breathe. Steve on the other hand...fell asleep!!! I forgave him though because I needed him to be on point when I was delivering her.
In an attempt to be an understanding wife, I let Steve sleep until the pain got so bad I couldn't lie in bed anymore. I woke him up and he helped me walk around the unit. By this time it had been about 6 hours since my water broke. As we're walking around I'm noticing we have to stop every couple of minutes for a contraction. I'm excited thinking maybe I'd have a quick labor. I decide I should get the birthing ball and sit on that to work through my contractions. But by this time the contractions are coming every minute to two minutes!
Let me tell you the most difficult part about that for me was that there was no time to rest in between contractions. I was having cluster contractions too meaning that I would have one contraction for about 30 seconds then it would come right back full force for about a minute or so. I went through this for several hours. I finally got checked by the RN and found out I had only dilated 1/2 a cm!!!!
All that work and only 1/2 a cm?!? I could have screamed. The RN told us that I still had a long time to go. So, I gave in. I got the epidural. I felt so guilty for doing it because I wanted so badly not to, but I just couldn't see myself going another 7 or 8 hours like that. You know the classes tell you that the phase where the contractions are coming so close together only lasts 30-45 minutes and it's right before you're ready to push! I had already been going through that for hours and was nowhere near ready to push!!!
After the epidural I was able to nap. My parents came by for a little while, but decided to go home after finding out I was only dilated to a 3 by that time. We decided I would just call them when it got close.
My doctor decided to put me on Pitocin since I had the epidural and wasn't dilating fast enough. They started me off slowly but kept increasing the Pitocin. After a few hours my epidural started to wear off on the left side of my body. I informed the RN, tried the bolus a few times but it was in vain. The anesthesiologist came and gave me more meds to help, but that didn't work either.
By this time they had significantly increased my Pitocin so that the contractions were coming every 30 seconds! Still my epidural wouldn't work on the left side. I was in so much pain, but quit complaining about it because it didn't seem to help (my RN was mad at me by this point anyway...long story). At one point when I told my RN that I could feel everything on the left side, her response was "I hardly think you're feeling everything!"
The nurse checked me again and discovered they had dilated me from a 6 to a 9 1/2 in 30 minutes!! That was when they finally backed off the Pitocin. For those of you who don't know, Pitocin makes the contractions even more painful. To be having contractions every 30 seconds with Pitocin is terribly painful. We quickly called my family and friends and told them to rush because I was close.
My mom made it just in time. I was in so much pain I was moaning during exhales (which did help). I was still having back labor, so the nurse thought the baby was upside down (a.k.a. sunny side up). She said the doctor would take care of that when he got there in the meantime, start pushing. So I did. I pushed and pushed and pushed as hard as I could. She didn't seem to think I was doing my best, and kept telling me to push harder, my baby wasn't moving.
I was literally falling asleep between pushes. Steve would wake me up by telling me, "DEEP BREATH!" At one point they lost Madelynn's heartbeat. I don't remember much about that. I only remember them telling me to stop while the RN adjusted the monitors and searched for her heartbeat. Then I remember her telling me to take a break from pushing to let Madelynn’s heartbeat "recover." (Good thing I was so out of it, otherwise I would have freaked out)! In the meantime, I'm in TERRIBLE pain, but still only on the left side. There was a strange pain that didn't feel like a contraction. I kept thinking something was wrong, but what did I know? Several times I almost asked her to get the doctor, but I figured I've never had a baby before so this was probably normal.
Again, I started pushing and still nothing was happening. I finally said I needed a break and wanted rest during this contraction. At that point, my RN snapped, "I'll be right back." Finally she got the doctor. He came in telling me resting was not going to get my baby out. Either I needed to push or he was going to have to go in after her (I’m thinking what did that RN tell you???). He said Madelynn was not upside down, but he used some other term that began with a "t". He was having me push as hard as possible (as if I wasn't already) and was reaching inside me in an attempt to turn Madelynn's head. I SCREAMED! This was easily the most painful experience of my life and he kept doing it. (I found out later that my friends and family could hear my screams in the waiting room).
After an hour of all this, the doctor said my baby still hadn't moved at all. He said he thought her head was too big and would need to be taken by Cesarean section. By this time, I was all for it. I was in terrible pain and was crying. I just couldn't take it anymore. The new surgical RNs came in and were so kind (they actually thought I was crying because I was scared of the surgery).
They gave Steve scrubs to put on and sent my mom back into the waiting room. The anesthesiologist came in and then I did get scared! I quickly realized that I could feel everything on the left!!! How were they going to cut me open and pull her out when I could feel it? He assured me that he would make me pain free before he allowed the doctor to cut me. He was great! I was trembling so badly from the hormones. He told me as soon as the baby was out of my body he would give me something to stop the tremors. He assured me it was completely normal!
They brought Steve into the room, let him sit with me and the doctor got ready to begin. Luckily the anesthesiologist noticed and stopped him quickly! He told the doctor to wait while he adjusted my meds. During this time the doctor began poking me with something to judge how much I could feel. I kept telling him "I feel that. I feel that." He thought I was just feeling the pressure from the poke, so he secretly poked me in a different area. When I again said, "I feel that!" The RNs all started laughing. He said he just needed to make sure. Meanwhile, I'm thinking why does everyone think I'm lying about my pain?!? The only one who seemed to believe me was the anesthesiologist.
After several med adjustments, nothing was working. My anesthesiologist told me we had two choices a complete spinal block or a general anesthesia. I chose the spinal block! They made Steve leave the room again while he administered the spinal block. Finally I was pain free! They brought Steve back in and began.
My doctor quickly cut me open, pulled her out, and got me stitched back up. One thing all of the RNs told me about my doc was that he was fast...and he was. After he finished, he came over to me and told me that Madelynn's head was stuck in my birth canal. Apparently, her head was turned and couldn't make it through the canal. She was born with a raspberry on her head, which healed quickly. He told me, "We did the right thing. There was no way you would have been able to push her out."
I wanted to yell, "See, I wasn't being a big baby! I was pushing as hard as I could! I KNEW something was wrong!" But, I just quietly said, "Thank you", tried to stop crying, and waited for them to bring me my daughter.
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