It's Becoming Real

Last night I started looking online for a babysitter. I've sent a couple emails to friends, but nothing has panned out so far. Now, that I've had to start looking for someone I don't know at all just FREAKED me out! It really hit me that I'm going to be taking her to a complete stranger. She's no longer going to be getting the one on one care that she's had since birth. She's four months old now and not a single day has gone by where she's been cared for by someone other than family. Now, she's going to spend the better part of the day with someone that I won't know until now. Granted I'm going to do my research and there's no way I'm picking anyone without fingerprint clearance, excellent references and lots of experience. But still...it's not family or a close friend and that breaks my heart and terrifies me all at the same time. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. It took me forever to fall asleep last night. I just couldn't stop thinking about it!